I apologize it’s been a couple of weeks since my last post. Life got to me. Kids got to me. Health got to me. I could bore you with excuses, but heck, I’d say you know what’s going on because you’re dealing with it too. The thing is we all are. We like to think sometimes, the enemy likes us to think, we’re alone in our suffering. That whatever we’re dealing with is all ours, all on our own. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. No matter what is going on in your life right now, you are not alone, because we’re all in this together.
I recently met with a friend who is going through some stuff, real stuff in my mind. She’s caregiving for an ailing parent all whilst working and caring for her family of young children. I asked her how she was doing, how she managed it all, and she said the most amazing thing. She said she just did it because she had to, that everybody has stuff going on, so who was she to assume her problems were harder or greater than what anybody else is dealing with. Whatever you’ve got going on, it’s hard to you because you’re in it, but you just deal with it.
Wow. Who are we to assume that whatever burdens we carry are heavier than someone else’s?
So humble. So true. And so connecting, that revelation is. We may be dealing with different things, but we’re all dealing with something, so we’re all in this together. And therefore, we are never alone in our struggles.
The surest way to feel lost and alone is to think our suffering is greater than that of another. To play the martyr.
We’ve all played the martyr a time or two. I’ve been caught in this trap before. Oh woe is me, my life is so hard, oh how I’ve suffered, nobody understands me. Blah blah blah. When we get stuck in this line of thought, we get nowhere! We get nothing!
It is only when we remember to have empathy for the suffering of those around us that we are freed from our own troubles. That we remember we are never alone.
Just because other people aren’t dealing with the same set of problems doesn’t mean they’re not dealing with something. Everyone struggles. Everyone. That woman you see at Target with her dress clothes on, hair and makeup done, kids all dressed up, is suffering from depression. That man you see in the suit and tie and briefcase was laid off. That cashier you see smiling as she checks you out had to put down her dog this morning. The woman in line behind you found out she has cancer. The man in line in front of you got in a fight with his wife over money troubles.
The biggest trap we fall into when we’re feeling the weight of our struggles is thinking we’re alone, that we’re the only one who has to deal with whatever issue it may be. When we’re honest with ourselves and others, we can all bring our burdens to the table and realize they become much lighter when we share the load.
So set your burdens down, let go of your problems. Stop carrying them like a cross, and reach out your hand to hold another’s. Together we are strong. Together we’ve got this. We’ve got each other. Reach out your hand today, and tell someone, “You’ve got this. I’ve got you. You are not alone. Let’s do this together. Whatever it is. Together we’ve got this.”
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Copyright © 2017 Katherine J. Wheeler. All rights reserved.
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